Topic 3.4 Bad Meetings

Audio Script

0:42 Picture this: It’s Monday morning, you’re at the office, you’re settling in for the day at work, and this guy that you sort of recognize from down the hall, walks right into your cubicle and he steals your chair. Doesn’t say a word just rolls away with it. Doesn’t give you any information about why he took your chair out of all the other chairs that are out there. Doesn’t acknowledge the fact that you might need your chair to get some work done today. You wouldn’t stand for it. You’d make a stink. You’d follow that guy back to his cubicle and you’d say, “Why my chair?”

1:19 Okay, so now it’s Tuesday morning and you’re at the office, and a meeting invitation pops up in your calendar. (Laughter) And it’s from this woman who you kind of know from down the hall, and the subject line references some project that you heard a little bit about. But there’s no agenda. There’s no information about why you were invited to the meeting. And yet you accept the meeting invitation, and you go. And when this highly unproductive session is over, you go back to your desk, and you stand at your desk and  you say, “Boy, I wish I had those two hours back, like I wish I had my chair back.” (Laughter)

2:01 Every day, we allow our coworkers, who are otherwise very, very nice people, to steal from us. And I’m talking about something far more valuable than office furniture. I’m talking about time. Your time. In fact, I believe that we are in the middle of a global epidemic of a terrible new illness known as MAS: Mindless Accept Syndrome. (Laughter) The primary symptom of Mindless Accept Syndrome is just accepting a meeting invitation the minute it pops up in your calendar. (Laughter) It’s an involuntary reflex– ding, click, bing– it’s in your calendar, “Gotta go, I’m already late for a meeting.” (Laughter)

2:32 Meetings are important, right? And collaboration is key to the success of any enterprise. And a well-run meeting can yield really positive, actionable results. But between globalization and pervasive information technology, the way that we work has really changed dramatically over the last few years. And we’re miserable. (Laughter) And we’re miserable not because the other guy can’t run a good meeting, it’s because of MAS, our Mindless Accept Syndrome, which is a self-inflicted wound.

3:52 Actually, I have evidence to prove that MAS is a global epidemic. Let me tell you why. A couple of years ago, I put a video on YouTube, and in the video, I acted out every terrible conference call you’ve ever been on. It goes on for about five minutes, and it has all the things that we hate about really bad meetings. There’s the moderator who has no idea how to run the meeting. There are the participants who have no idea why they’re there. The whole thing kind of collapses into this collaborative train wreck. And everybody leaves very angry. It’s kind of funny. (Laughter) Let’s take a quick look. (Video) Our goal today is to come to an agreement on a very important proposal. As a group, we need to decide if– bloop bloop– Hi, who just joined? Hi, it’s Joe. I’m working from home today. (Laughter) Hi, Joe. Thanks for joining us today, great. I was just saying, we have a lot of people on the call we’d like to let’s skip the roll call and I’m gonna dive right get through, so in. Our goal today is to come to an agreement on a very important proposal. As a group, we need to decide if– bloop bloop (Laughter)– Hi, who just joined? No? I thought I heard a beep. (Laughter)

5:01 Sound familiar? Yeah, it sounds familiar to me, too. A couple of weeks after I put that online, 500,000 people in dozens of countries, I mean dozens of countries, watched this video. And three years later, it’s still getting thousands of views every month. It’s close to about a million right now. And in fact, some of the biggest companies in the world, companies that you’ve heard of but I won’t name, have asked for my permission to use this video in their new-hire training to teach their new employees how not to run a meeting at their company. And if the numbers–there are a million views and it’s being used by all these companies– aren’t enough proof that we have a global problem with meetings, there are the many, many thousands of comments posted online after the video went up. Thousands of people wrote things like, “OMG, that was my day today!” “That was my day every day!” “This is my life.” One guy wrote, “It’s funny because it’s true. Eerily, sadly, depressingly true. It made me laugh until I cried. And cried. And I cried some more.” (Laughter) This poor guy said, “My daily life until retirement or death, sigh.” These are real quotes and it’s real sad.